Setting Intentions For the New Year

The beginning of each new year feels like it brings pressure to do something big, to make changes, to be different. Vision boards, resolution lists, intention setting, manifesting… We have so many options to create change. I’m sure there are more.

For the last few years I’ve made a list of new-year intentions. I wrote down things I’d like more of in my life. Last year I also participated in a Best Year Ever class, where I mapped out what I wanted to accomplish over the course of the year. That was very helpful, but I found I tried to do all the things I’d mapped out right away! Then I forgot to go back and see what was left on the list as the year progressed.

In the past, because I’m a business owner, my goals tend to sway towards work rather than personal goals. I ended up feeling overwhelmed by all the things I added to my to-do list. Although my business is very important to me, I’ve recognized this past year that my personal goals get put aside or remain undone because I minimize their importance when I’m deciding how to spend my time and energy.

“Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.”

— Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha

It’s important to make yourself a priority

When we put more emphasis on work, or other people’s needs and we don’t honor what we need it can lead to burn-out and us feeling frustrated, exhausted, angry and resentful. Not the best way to spend the first year of a new decade!

When you’ve lived much of your life putting other’s needs first—and that can happen at work as well as at home— it can be hard to do things differently. It definitely takes a bit more effort and a lot of positive self-talk, self-compassion and self-awareness to be mindful of and meet our own needs.

Making yourself a priority can feel selfish, mean, and very uncomfortable, but it’s important. If we’re not paying attention and attending to our needs, who else is going to do it?

It’s also easy to fall back into our old behaviors when we’re stressed. They’re called patterns for a reason! We’ve been taking care of everyone else’s needs for a long time. Change takes time.

I’d love to dedicate this year to the Self, and I hope you’ll join me. Taking care of You and making You a priority doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or enormous shift. It’s small steps, like checking in with yourself a few times a day and asking, “What do I need right now?” The answer might surprise you.

3 tips for taking care of your needs

Here are some other ideas to help you move into the new year with compassion and love for yourself:

• ·Make time to meditate each day.
  Two to three minutes of mindful meditation every day can help you get to know yourself and your body in a deeper way.

• Be in nature.
  Connecting with the natural world helps us feel more grounded and calm. When you’re in a more grounded place it’s easier to tune into You.

• Offer yourself the compassion and kindness you would give to friends.
  We can change our relationship with ourselves if we can find some space for kindness.

No matter how you mark the new year, I hope you’ll take some time for you in 2020!

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If you enjoyed this blog post and would like more insights into living with anxiety, tune into the Woman Worriers podcast. In each weekly 30-minute episode, host Elizabeth Cush, LCPC, and her guests explore living with anxiety, relationships, parenting, surviving trauma and other topics and offer insights into mindfulness, meditation and other helpful resources.

Elizabeth Cush, LCPC is a therapist, blogger,  creator and host of the Woman Worriers podcast, and the owner of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and she’s been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps busy, overwhelmed men and women manage their anxiety and stress so they can live their lives with more ease, contentment and purpose. If you'd like to know more about how individual, online and group therapy can help ease anxiety and stress call me 410-339-1979.

Skip New Year's Resolutions — Set Intentions Instead

Create New Year’s Intentions That Put You In Touch With Yourself

The New Year is fun and exciting. It brings the expectation of new possibilities and the potential for new opportunities. The idea behind making New Year’s resolutions is to set goals for all the things you want to do differently or to change about yourself or your life. But if you don’t follow through with your resolutions, you can wind up feeling ashamed or hyper-critical of yourself.

It seems like many of the resolutions we make are about being “better” or correcting behaviors or habits we don’t like. Social media and advertisers push you to join a gym, a diet program, or a life-coaching program. Brick-and-mortar and online bookstores promote self-help books to guide you into a better way of life. 

But what if your resolutions only make you feel worse about yourself when they’re not fulfilled? For example, maybe you resolve to lose weight and exercise more. You start off strong but fall back into old patterns of behavior (they’re called patterns for a reason). You might feel pretty bad that you aren’t able to hold true to that resolution.

Add More Of What You Love To Your Life

This year, why not try making New Year intentions that can bring the things you love into, or back into, your life. Creating intentions means getting in touch with the things you value most, the things that give your life joy, meaning and fulfillment.

You might value family, friendships, self-care, compassion, self-compassion, nature, animals, service, quiet time, knowledge, creativity, reflection, mindfulness, adventure, trustworthiness or spirituality. Those are just a few. You can find a more extensive list here. 

To help you identify your core values, you can use the list provided in the link above or develop your own list. Choose three to five values that feel most important to you. Write them down and consider how you could bring those values into your life in 2019 in meaningful ways.

For instance, if creativity is one of your top values, then maybe one of your New Year intentions might be: “I will find creative outlets to express myself in the New Year.” The idea is to find intentions that feel uplifting to you. Create a list that feels positive and supportive with things that you feel good about instead of all the things about yourself that you don’t like and want to change.

Looking back at my intentions list for 2018, I recognize that I didn’t fulfill every intention. That’s OK, because my list was pretty long last year! The nice thing about using your values is that, if they’re broad enough, you can find ways to bring that intention into your life without too much effort, because it means something to you.

I’m looking forward to making my list for 2019!

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Elizabeth Cush, LCPC is a therapist, blogger,  creator and host of the Woman Worriers podcast, and the owner of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and she’s been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps busy, overwhelmed men and women manage their anxiety and stress so they can live their lives with more ease, contentment and purpose. If you'd like to know more about how individual, online and group therapy can help ease anxiety and stress call me 410-339-1979. 

How To Make Self-Compassion A Part Of The New Year

Self-compassion can help counter self-criticism

In my Progression Counseling New Year blog  I wrote about creating intentions, instead of resolutions this year. And the practice of self-compassion is one intention that’s really helped me manage my anxiety over the last few years.

In my January blog post for Good Therapy, This Year, Resolve To Be Kinder To Yourself, I review the benefits and myths of self-compassion and I give some guidance on how to start a self-compassion practice.

Ask yourself, “Do you extend yourself the same kindness and compassion you would offer a friend? Why not?” You can find out here how self-compassion can help you to counter self-criticism

Here’s the direct link to the article:  https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/this-year-resolve-to-be-kinder-to-yourself-0105184

If you’d like to bring more mindfulness and self-compassion into your daily life please contact me. I offer group and individual therapy in Annapolis, MD.

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Elizabeth Cush, LCPC is a therapist and the owner of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md. She helps busy, overwhelmed men and women manage their anxiety and stress so they can live their lives with more ease, contentment and purpose. If you'd like to know more about how individual and group therapy can help ease anxiety and stress call me 410-339-1979. 

Photo by Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

How To Live With Intention In The New Year

Making intentions for the New Year

Last year I decided that instead of making New Year’s resolutions, which I rarely fulfilled, I would make New Year’s intentions. The idea was to focus on the things in my life that mattered to me on a more personal level. I was thinking that I would be more likely to use the intentions as a guide toward a more fulfilled life, rather than resolutions I would feel guilty about if I didn’t heed.

I was surprised when I looked back at last year’s post. I had followed through with every one of my intentions! What surprised me most was that I wasn’t constantly looking at my intentions to measure my success. A couple, like going on a retreat and taking more time away from work, felt a little outside my comfort zone, so they were on my mind more over the course of the year, but overall, my intentions fell into place naturally.

Did I hit each and every intention on the mark and cross it off my list? No! But I did move toward them. The intentions are things that truly matter to me, so I will continue to strive to bring them into my life in meaningful ways.

I’m not writing this post to boast. Instead, I want to reinforce that creating purposeful intentions in your life, whether they’re about personal or professional things, can help you live your life with more fulfillment and contentment. That said, here are my 2018 intentions for the New Year. Following up and expanding on my last years’ intentions I hope to:

Attend another retreat.

Connecting with horses is a healing magical experience.

This fall, I joined some colleagues on an Equine-Assisted Daring Way retreat hosted by Laura Reagan, LCSW-C, and Charlotte Hiler Easley, LCSW. It was a magical, healing experience. Until then, I hadn’t spent much time around horses, but after this day-long retreat with two beautiful horses, I was hooked. Feeling so connected to a huge animal I’d met for the first time, and being able to share the experience with like-minded people, opened up something deep inside me. It made me feel more connected to the universe in a way I hadn’t felt before.

Setting aside time for your own personal growth, whether it’s going on a retreat or reading a self-help book, can be a powerful, self-affirming experience. I highly recommend it.

Continue to take time off.

I was able to take a few trips to travel to see family and friends and to spend time with my husband and kids this year. It required that I take time away from work, which isn’t always easy to do.

Taking time away from work, even just a long weekend, can make the work so much easier to come back to. You’ll come back refreshed and fulfilled with more brain space available so you can be creative and more present at work and at home.

Continue to make meditation a priority.

This past year I meditated much more regularly than I have in the past. I find that when I do, I’m better able to be mindful, to pause before reacting and to be fully present with my clients and the people in my life.

Meditation takes an effort, and it’s easy to stop meditating when things in your life get busy or stressful — but that’s when it’s most effective! A regular meditation practice helps you be more aware of the times when you’re stressed so you can manage it more effectively in the moment.

I’ve also begun to recognize other areas of my life that I’d like to be more intentional about going into 2018. Here are a few:

Make my health a priority.

It’s easy to put off addressing your health issues or to put your physical well-being at the bottom of your priorities list — but if you don’t attend to your physical health, or it gets off track, it affects you both physically and mentally.

Here are the ways I hope to bring my physical health to the top of my list:

• Practice Yoga. Now that I’m approaching 60 (!), I want to get back to doing yoga for body strength and flexibility in the New Year. By bringing your attention to your body, yoga promotes mindfulness, and the movement is healing in many ways.

• Get a physical check up. I haven’t had a physical in years! It’s so easy to put off taking care of yourself, but I know that attending to my physical well-being is taking care of Me. By making self-care an intention for the New Year, I’m telling myself that I care about Me.

• Pay more attention to what I consume. It’s easy to eat and drink without paying much attention, and that can lead to over-eating and drinking! Going into the New Year, I intend to be more mindful of what I put into my body.

Show up more fully in my personal relationships.

Feeling more connected with yourself creates more connection with others.

It’s easy to assume that the people in your life know exactly how you feel and what you’re thinking. Maybe you assume that you know how they’re feeling and what they’re thinking, too. The reality is, unless you express how you’re feeling, the people around you are making assumptions about you, too.

My intention is to pay closer to attention to how I’m feeling and share my feelings with people who matter to me. When you affirm your feelings to yourself or with the people you care about, you can be more present and feel more connected.

Explore new areas professionally and personally.

Getting trapped in old patterns or doing things the way you always have can leave you feeling stuck, bored and uninspired. Shaking things up by trying new activities, going new places and putting yourself out there in new ways can help keep things interesting. I intend to explore new areas in my business and in my personal life. By stepping out of my comfort zone and doing new things, I hope to bring more life into my life!

Creating Your Own Intentions

If you’d like to create an intention list for yourself but you’re not sure how, here are a few pointers:

1. Think about what matters most to you. What do you value? Is it love, connection, family, work…, something else?

2. Using the things you value most, ask yourself if some values aren’t as much a part of your life as you’d like them to be.

3. Then try to create a statement that that brings together the things you value and what’s missing, “My intention for the New Year is to spend more time ________ (you fill in the blank).

4. Lastly I want you to write down your intentions. Having them in writing keeps them front and forward in your mind as you enter the New Year.

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Elizabeth Cush, LCPC is a therapist and the owner of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md. She helps busy, overwhelmed men and women manage their anxiety and stress so they can live their lives with more ease, contentment and purpose. If you'd like to know more about how individual and group therapy can help ease anxiety and stress call me 410-339-1979. 

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Photo by NordWood Themes & Kenny Webster & Joseph Pearson on Unsplash