Michelle Farris on Women, Anger & Racial Injustice
A lot of women struggle with anger—some without even knowing it. In this episode of Woman Worriers, host Elizabeth Cush interviews Michelle Farris, an anger management specialist, about identifying anger, expressing it safely and listening to those who are angry with us.
“Healthy anger is not quiet and polite, but it’s not mean and it’s not demeaning and it’s not hurtful.”
Show Notes:
Anger can be empowering. It can also be very challenging, especially for women. But whether we are tired of always facing a sink full of dirty dishes or trying to have a conversation about racial justice, it’s important to develop a healthy relationship with anger—our own and others’. In this episode of the Woman Worriers podcast, host Elizabeth Cush, LCPC, of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md., and her guest Michelle Farris, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist from San Jose, Calif., who specializes in anger management, talk about the difficulties of recognizing anger in ourselves and learning to express that anger without turning to rage. They also discuss anger in the context of Black Lives Matter, cultural constraints on women’s anger, the relationship between anger and trauma, and how we can be on the receiving end of someone else’s anger in a way that opens the door to grounded and meaningful communication.
Listen and learn:
Why so many of us deny our anger and try to bury it
Why “stuffing” anger is so destructive
What lessons most women learn about anger and what those messages rob us of
The first steps in learning how to recognize anger for what it is
The biggest difference between healthy anger and unhealthy anger
The verbal misstep many of us make in trying to convey our anger—and the simple way to avoid it
Language you can use if you’re not comfortable saying you’re angry
Differences in how men and women perceive and deal with their anger in therapy
Why it’s so important to make space for others’ anger right now
What white people can do to make space for people of color to talk about their anger
How to have difficult conversations without demonizing the other person—and what self-knowledge needs to come first
How white women and black women may have received different messages about anger—and how that has led to labeling and stereotyping women of color
Why women who have experienced trauma may feel anger more intensely
Skills that can keep you safe—physically and emotionally—when others are expressing their anger
Why what we’re angry about isn’t always what we’re really angry about—and how to unravel it all
Learn More:
> Michelle Farris’s Counseling Recovery website
> Michelle Farris Therapy for Relationships & Anger on Pinterest
> Michelle Farris on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook
> Soroya Chemaly’s Rage Becomes Her website
> Soroya Chemaly’s TED Talk
> Smithsonian’s 158 Resources for Understanding Systemic Racism in America
> Scaffolded Anti-Racism Resources
> Woman Worriers on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook & Twitter
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